>bodyweight training


From Nicole.: Why do I get #$%^&*# sore TWO DAYS after a workout?

Delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS) is the pain, tenderness, and stiffness (as in I can’t fucking sit down without dying!) felt in muscles after an especially challenging workout or after working your muscles in a way that is not customary. The discomfort is frequently at its height 24 to 72 hours after the offending workout and the pain is usually felt only when the muscle is stretched, contracted, or put under pressure, not when it is at rest. After 72 hours the pain subsides and generally disappears less than seven days after exercise. Okay we know it feels sucky but what causes it. One theory is that it’s due to eccentric exercise (i.e., the phase of a movement during which the muscle is lengthening such as the “downward” portion of a squat jump). This type of exercise theoretically results in micro tears to the muscles. The muscles then adapt quickly to prevent serious damage and the result is soreness if the exercise is repeated as it is in Beast ad infinitum. You’re welcome. Another theory is that an accumulation of calcium in the damaged muscles sets off a complex chemical reaction leading to inflammation and ultimately pain. By the way, DOMS was first described in 1902 by Theodore Hough who concluded that this kind of soreness is “fundamentally the result of ruptures within the muscle.” Nice going Theo.

By | 2019-04-18T07:44:15-04:00 April 18th, 2019|0 Comments

No obstacle is too great

If you follow the Punk Rope Instagram feed (and if you don’t we invite you to do so) you might have thought we won our 6th consecutive City Challenge 5K obstacle race on Saturday in Jersey City, NJ. Well that’s actually a bit of an exaggeration although not quite fake news. We did win…in a sense.

With an average age approaching 50, Shana, Lyana, Heather, and I each attempted to conquer 23 “obstacles” ranging from turning heavy jump ropes to scaling inverted barricades to shimmying up climbing ropes to swinging kettlebells to monkeying around the monkey bars to lugging sand bags and cinder blocks to hurdling police cars to carrying a stranger piggyback.

Did we really have the fastest time? No. Do we care? Hardly. Our goal was simply to give the race our all and do our best AS A TEAM. Collectively we tried to solve each challenge that the race organizers tossed our way. Sometimes we were triumphant, sometimes we stumbled, but we never backed down.

I find that obstacle races are a great metaphor for life. You never know what’s going to be thrown at you. Sometimes you’ll get knocked down. But the bigger question is: will you get back up again? So the next time you think about signing up for a traditional 5K or 10K, consider doing an obstacle race with a team instead. It will test your fitness; it will test your mental toughness; it will test your ability to play nicely with others. And it will be a helluva good time.

By | 2018-04-17T22:33:00-04:00 April 17th, 2018|0 Comments

Beastanetics Workout • Feb 6, 2018

Squat – raise 1 arm (75 sec)
Prone Hip Extension (75 sec)
Reverse Lunge (wt optional) (75 sec)
Single Leg Stretch (75 sec)

6 sets @ 24 sec + 16 sec recovery
1. Triangle Jump
2. Crab Walk
3. Lateral Bounds
4. Staggered Hands Push-up
5. Squat Jump – Dorothy
6. Plank Jacks

By | 2018-02-07T11:56:04-05:00 February 6th, 2018|0 Comments

Beast Workout of the Week

Resisted Hip Flexion (60 sec)
Squat – Frog (60 sec)
Bird Dog (60 sec)
Lunge – raise both arms (60 sec)
Plank – lift arm (60 sec)

6 sets @ 24 sec + 16 sec recovery
1. Sagittal Jacks
2. Bear Crawl in a Circle
3. Scissors Jump
4. Push-up Jacks
5. Squat Jump – Frog
6. Plank Slalom

By | 2018-01-10T13:41:26-05:00 January 10th, 2018|0 Comments

Beastanetics starts on 10/10/17

Beastanetics is a high intensity, interval-training program that improves stamina, strength, speed, agility, and power, and burns mega fat and calories.

McCarren Park artificial turf field
Bordered by Driggs, Lorimer, Union, Bayard.
Meet by the goal closest to Bayard

Tues, Oct 10 through Tues, November 21
Tu/Th: 6:45am-7:45am & 8am-9am

7-week session/13 classes: $143
drop-in class: $15 (space permitting)



Tim Haft

By | 2017-10-06T00:23:36-04:00 October 6th, 2017|0 Comments

Beastanetics on TV | 6/29

This is the moment for which we’ve been waiting since Beast began in 2009.
A little love and recognition from the mainstream media could be huge for Beast. We hope you’ll come out to support. If the end result is a few more Beasts sign up for the next round then there’s an even better chance that I’ll move back to NYC 🙂

Below are the details for tomorrow’s FREE classes as of this morning, but Heather is still negotiating with PIX11. She and Shana will post updates, if there are any, on the Beast Facebook page. Also, you can text Heather at 917-749-0337 and Shana at 718-812-8059. By the way, please like our Facebook page if you haven’t already.

FYI, when PIX is NOT shooting you’ll be working out as usual, but when they are shooting they’ll direct you as to what to do or Heather and Shana will direct you. Yes, it will be a little choppy, but it will still be fun plus you’ll get…

  • FREE coffee for the early morning crew
  • FREE Beast T-shirt (you might have to wait for the next shipment). If you already have the new design we’ll buy you breakfast.
  • 8/10 make-up class for currently registered Beasts


  • This is really good publicity for Beastanetics. We’ve never had this kind of exposure. It would be so awesome and a huge favor if you could be there for as much or as little as you’d like any time between 6-9am.
  • If you’re not comfortable being on camera, that’s totally fine, you can just step aside when they’re rolling.
  • If you’re currently registered for Beast and not into being on TV, no worries, we’ll do a makeup class on 8/10 and we’re sorry for the last-minute change

To be clear, class will still run at 6:45 and 8am so you can just show up at your regular time, but be prepared for things to be mixed up a bit. If you’d like to invite any friends or roommates, please feel free to do so as tomorrow’s class is free and open to the public.

McCarren Park Soccer Field
meet at the goal closest to Bayard

Thursday | 6/29

6:45AM CLASS | 6:10, 6:35, 6:45
Teasers at 6:10 and 6:35am; 3-minute segment at 6:45am; after 6:45am class will continue as usual. Yes, 6:10 is early, but think of the fame and the fortune. Please come!

8AM CLASS | 7:10, 7:35, 7:45, 8:10, 8:35, 8:45
Teasers at 7:10 and 7:35am; 3-minute segment at 7:45am.
Teasers at 8:10 and 8:35am; 3-minute segment at 8:45am.
Clearly we’re asking the most of the 8am crew, but you guys have always delivered. We apologize in advance for all the interruptions, but you should have 2 solid stretches (7:10-7:35 and 8:10-8:35) during which you’ll get a great workout. Breakfast after!

Tonight, Claire de Luxe, longtime Beast and fire artist extraordinaire, is performing in a free fire show in Maria Hernandez Park from 7-10pm. It’s sure to be amazing.
Details are here: https://www.facebook.com/events/694524260748999

And Scott Jackson, aka Poison Eve, will be performing this Saturday at Coney Island USA in Twincest Burlesque at 10pm. If you haven’t seen Scott perform burlesque, you haven’t lived. Details here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1393911994009915/

By | 2018-02-13T17:47:04-05:00 June 28th, 2017|0 Comments

Fitness Challenges of the Week | 5/1/17

Let us know how you did by posting on the group Facebook page.

Standing Broad Jump for distance.
You’ll need a tape measure to measure the length of your jump. You’ll be measuring from your toes at takeoff to your heels at landing. We suggest 5 attempts. The world’s record is 12 feet 2 3/4 inches held by Byron Jones.

Rope Jumping Speed for time.
How many jumps (of any type) can you complete in one minute. Set a timer for 60 seconds and have a friend count your successful jumps. The key to doing well is speed and consistency. We suggest 3 trials. The Guinness World Record is 332 jumps in a minute by Beci Dale.

By | 2017-05-01T02:06:24-04:00 May 1st, 2017|0 Comments

Age Is Just a Number

On Saturday, Joyce Snyder, age 71, participated in a Beastanetics workout on the beach in Asbury Park, NJ, making her the oldest person to date to complete a Beastanetics class. Previously, Joyce had been doing yoga and taking long walks around her local reservoir, but high intensity interval training was completely new to her. She said liked the movements and especially the fact that it wasn’t boring. “Before I could get bored, the movement changed and that kept my interest.” Before the class started I stressed to Joyce that she should go at her own pace and stop if she felt she needed to. I also told her I could provide her with alternatives if any of the movements caused pain or too much discomfort. But Joyce didn’t need any alternatives. She did extremely well with the squats, lunges, and planks that preceded the high intensity portion of the workout and also did great with the really tough stuff which included shuffles, backpedaling, mountain climbers, sprints, high knees (in the water!), a lateral crab walk, and a water skiier squat jump (Joyce opted not to jump). Truth be told, Joyce’s daughter is Heather Wagner, who at 47, is one of the fittest and toughest Beasts around, so maybe Joyce’s performance should have come as no surprise. But still, it’s very rare to see somebody in their 60s let alone 70s take part in a bona fide high intensity interval class. Looks like Beastanetics might have a whole new audience waiting in the wings.

By | 2018-02-13T17:47:05-05:00 September 12th, 2016|0 Comments

Squatter’s Rights

Squatting is one of the most basic of human movements. We squat to sit down, field a ground ball, and use the toilet. In Beastanetics, each class includes 60 seconds of squatting. Click here for an instructional video showing our 16 favorite squats.

To learn to squat properly we like to first bring our elbows to the inside of our knees to add stability. Follow these cues when you’re just getting started:

1) Begin in a standing position with feet wider than hips.
2) Descend into a squat by flexing your ankles, knees, and hips.
3) Depth will be determined partially by flexibility and partially by strength.
4) Keep your knees aligned with your toes. Don’t allow them to cave in.
5) Keep your heels flat on the ground.
6) It’s okay to turn your feet out slightly.
7) Purse your lips and exhale powerfully as you squat down.
8) Place your elbows inside your knees and push out.
9) Ascend to standing and inhale while swinging your arms back.
10) Keep your head up.
11) Do not round your back.
12) Try to establish a consistent rhythm.
13) Relax your jaw and your face. Try to smile.

Once you’ve mastered the bodyweight squat, you can begin to experiment with adding resistance in the form of a barbell, kettlebell, dumbbell, or human or animal companion.

By | 2018-02-13T17:47:05-05:00 September 3rd, 2016|0 Comments